Misconceptions: Readers Share Some Of The Most Hilarious Mishaps When It Comes To Thinking
We all have that one friend or family member that utters something so silly or so unbelievably ignorant that we can’t believe this person has made it this far in life! It’s crazy to think that something someone hears when they’re younger, they take a gospel for many years into their life and, even when corrected, still think what they know is true.
Geese, Not Goose
One user said, “My ex-girlfriend told me “geese” was not the plural form of “goose,” but that they were two different animals.”
Lions And Tigers
A second user added, “My boyfriend wasn’t aware that there were male and female lions and tigers. He thought lions were male, tigers were female, and they mated… I thought/hoped he was joking about this conclusion. He wasn’t.”
Cooked Ducklings
A third user shared, “There were dumplings being served for dinner one night, and my brother said, “Aren’t those going extinct?” After giving him a WTF look, he added, “Like you know, baby ducks?”. I had to explain to him that 1. dumplings are bread cooked over liquid, and 2. baby ducks are not going extinct.”
Red Cars
A Redditor added, “An old friend of mine was playing a racing console game with her (then) boyfriend, and he joked “I’m getting the red car because it goes faster.” She turns to him, mind blown, and says, “Oh my god, do red cars go faster in games too?”
Always Night
A poster commented, “I used to give rides to a girl I worked with. It was a long drive to work so we would talk about all kinds of stupid sh****t. For some reason, I started talking about the moon. I don’t know how we got to it, but I mentioned that the moon has an unstable orbit and that it gets a little farther from the Earth every year, and that, eventually, it will fly off into space. She thinks about this for a second and asks me if that means it will never be nighttime again and if it would be daytime all the time.”
Still Has Calories
A top-liked comment said, “One of my sorority sisters drank Muscle Milk daily for weeks, sometimes multiple times a day. A while into it, she complained that she was getting fat. “Have you been working out a lot?” I asked her. “What? No. I don’t work out. That’s why I’m drinking muscle milk.” She thought that there was a magical beverage that gave you muscles without any work at all.”
Upside Down
A commenter recalled, “I used to work at a bookstore. One day a lady was looking at some books on a display table. She picked up a hard-cover book that had a dust jacket and was flipping through it. She then came over to me and said in a fairly nasty tone. “This WHOLE book is printed upside down!! How am I supposed to read it??” Well, all I could think was that if the book is printed upside down, just flip it over… But I asked to see the book, and I took it from her. The dust jacket was upside down. So I took the dust jacket off, flipped it around, and returned the book to her. As I handed it back to her, she snapped, “Is that going to make any difference?!” She started paging through the magically corrected book. She just said, “….oh,” and walked away.”
Perfect Teeth
This user added, “A girl in high school declared that our descendants would have straight teeth because everyone in our generation had braces.”
Dyed Hair
One Redditor shared, “I used to work in a call center, booking appointments for a local salon. I had a woman call about getting her hair dyed. She said she was concerned because she was pregnant. I told her that she could consult with the colorist regarding what she wanted and what chemicals would be used, and whether or not they would be dangerous or harmful to her pregnancy, etc. So she says, “No, I don’t want my baby being born with whatever color I dye my hair to.”
Look Alike
A user commented, “I was in a wax museum with my sister in San Francisco, enjoying their collection of political figures, when she turned to me and says, completely serious: “That Adolf guy looks a lot like Hitler.”
Close, Yet Far
This Redditor added, “An ex-girlfriend told me about her teacher visiting every state but Alaska. She said she wanted to ask but didn’t “Why he would go all the way to Hawaii and not bother stopping over in Alaska since they were so close together. You know, because they put them next to each other on maps.”
Huge Breakup
One user posted, “In high school, I convinced a friend of mine that there are 51 states, “now that Dakota split up.” At first, she just responded, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of North Dakota and South Dakota! That makes sense!” Then followed it up a moment later with, “Wait… if they added North Dakota and South Dakota, shouldn’t there be fifty-two states now?” She argued with her teacher about there being 51 states the next day. I felt a little bad.”
One In Five
This user said, “I was discussing s****x with a girl I was dating. She was worried about STDs, and she quoted some statistics (something like 1 in 5 people in the US have an STD, but I don’t remember exactly). I assured her that none of the women I had slept with had had an STD at the time, that I was safe, they were safe, people had been tested, etc. She explained that because my number was higher than 5, it meant that at least one of those girls had to have had an STD at the time and just wasn’t aware of it. I tried to explain to her that statistics don’t work that way and that it only applies to the entire population. She refused to believe me, insisting that in any group of 5 people, at least 1 would have an STD.”
Statistics
A Redditor stated, “I have two older siblings. My mother says she was hesitant to have me because she heard 1 in 3 children born was Chinese.”
Independent Of Other
A commenter said, “My friend wanted to lose weight, but she didn’t want to do any exercise because she didn’t want to ‘turn her fat into muscle.’ Not in a figurative sense either – she honestly thought that if she started exercising in any capacity, she’d get massive, bodybuilder muscles because she had so much fat. I tried to tell her that fat and muscle are two different things you lose and gain independently, but as I was 19 at the time, she believed her (idiot) gym teacher over me.”
You Don’t Say….
This user shared, “I overheard a girl on the bus talking to her friend. She was very angry because she discovered a few days ago that she was pregnant. She said, “But my boyfriend was so sweet! He wanted to take care of me, ya know? He told me the pill would make me fat and sick, so he took it for me! But I’m sure he forgot his pill sometimes because I will have a baby now!”
The Apocalypse
This poster mentioned, “A doctor I dated told me this: A patient comes in complaining of severe knee pain. “I just want a cortisone shot, doc.” “You know that a shot will just stop the pain temporarily. You should really talk to an orthopedic surgeon about surgery–a more permanent solution.” “I’m not interested in a permanent solution” “What? Why not?” “Well, doc, as you know, the apocalypse is coming in a few months…”
Half And Half
A user commented, “My friend was talking about a 24 oz 10% ABV alcoholic beverage and said that it “only counted as two beers because the first 12 oz was 5% and the second 12 ounces was also 5%”. I had to explain to her what a percentage by volume meant. This person is an accounting major with good grades in a well-respected program….”
Guys In White Coats
This Redditor commented, “I was helping a guest with lightbulbs at work. She was furious at the new CFL bulbs because if you break one, ” you need to call the guys in white coats and pay thousands of dollars for them to clean it up for you” because of all the mercury in the bubs. When I tried to explain just how little mercury there was and that it was legal and safe for her to clean it up, she threatened to have me thrown in jail for attempted murder through mercury poisoning.”
Not How That Works
Finally, a Redditor shared, “My friend’s girlfriend thinks she can get pregnant by sitting on his lap. She is 24 years old and a graduate of UVA.”
Source: Reddit
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